Saturday, October 21, 2006

Buddhism for Mothers Ch 3

Finding Calm

Nothing lasts. The bad mood will pass. We can weather it for now & avoid assigning it any major significance. Motherhood forces us to reflect onour lives, on what is important to us & how we want to live the rest of our lives.

Motherhood is the world's Greatest Learning Experience.

Assume an attitude of hospitality toward the emotion - Oh its you again anger. Don't avoid it & don't judge it, just attend to it without getting too involved in it. Accept the existance of the negative emotions. Stand back& watch them, how they affect us. Labeling it rise, have being & pass away. A negative mind state can only sabotage your efforts to improve a situation.

Confusing because it undermines our happiness but it's easy to tell ourselves that it's a worthy mindset. Treat it the same as others. Be mindful of it. Identify the beliefs making us feel the guilt, monitor how much time is spent on it & how much is helpful. Writing out your thoughts is very helpful. Meditate, creating space around your problem.

The ability to perceive all aspects of our lives with acceptance & patience rather than our usual extreme reactions. The ability to keep calm.
  • inclusiveness,
  • even-mindedness,
  • non-attachment,
  • non-discrimination,
  • balance,
  • freedom from extremes,
  • letting go

Buddah taught that the greatest happiness comes from a peace uneffected by changing conditions. Accept what is & stop trying to control the inevitable & the impermanent

8 Worldly Conditions - gain & loss; pleasure & pain; praise & blame; fame & disrepute

Tolerance does not mean being relaxed & comfortable. It means accepting discomfort & finding ease in that accepting of discomfort. The irritations around you don't need to control you. Use them to practice patience.

Each moment is of equal importance, make it precious. Perceive it with complete acceptance, free of judgement, rating & demands.

Buddah said -
Do not pursue the past.
Do not lose yourself in the future.
The past no longer is.
The future has not come.
Looking deeply at life as it is
In the very here & now,T
he practitioner dwells
In stability and freedom.

The keys to peace & calmess are within. We all have a Buddah Nature. To find comfort we only need to turn inward

What We Can Do
  • Be compassionate with yourself
  • Remind yourself this emotion will pass.
  • Share this knowledge with your children
  • Ask yourself what you an learn from this situation
  • See each new emotion as a visitor worthy of hospitality
  • Watch & label your emotions
  • Be aware when you find your are caught up in a negative emotion & stop & give yourself a chance to think of alternatives
  • Write or meditate to help resolve your feelings
  • Strive to accept imperfection & discomfort
  • Choose a spacious response to petty irritations when you can
  • Try to appreciate the preciousness of every moment

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