Monday, October 12, 2009

The other man

I am at heart a monogamist. I choose a man and I stick with him.  It is not for me to have several crushes going at once or date a couple guys at the same time. While I support the idea of the poly lifestyle in general (assuming everyone involved is adult and agreeable to it), it is not for me personally.  I feel guilty when I am attracted to another man.  I feel like I am cheating in my heart if not with my body. So I am apologizing in public for my infidelity.

Harrison, I am so sorry.

I have loved you since I first saw Star Wars in 1977.  Han Solo made my 10 year old girlish heart giggle with joy. Indiana Jones made my teenage heart think more explicit things. Sabrina made my adult heart hurt with longing.

However,for the first time you have a true rival for my affection. Oh sure John Bon Jovi attracted me briefly and John Taylor from Duran Duran. But those were passing teen crushes. My brief flirtation with Adrian Paul during the Highlander the Series years?  Simply an infatuation. They meant nothing Harrison, you know that. Today I have no idea where they are or what they are doing while you are on my Google ping list.

But this time it is more than a crush or infatuation. I’m sorry. I never thought it would end like this. I thought after 30 years it would last forever. It’s not you Harrison (though really? Calista Flockart? really?) It’s me. I need more than you can give. More than one movie every couple of years. I need someone I can see regularly. Someone who will be there for me every Monday night, either in new episodes or reruns. I’m leaving you for a younger man.

A few years ago I laid eyes on this man

Nathan Fillion, or as I knew him, Malcolm Reynolds on Firefly, now Richard Castle on Castle.

*swoon*

OMG Harrison! I am so sorry but he seems to have slowly but surely displaced you. I didn’t even realize it until recently when I was more upset than is rational to miss an episode of Castle. Or maybe it was when I started getting pissy at missing my private lunchtime viewings of my Firefly DVD’s. He has become my new full time love. My celebrity husband. He’s so rugged and charming and witty and handsome. And mature and muscle-y and, and…he sort of reminds me of you actually… only without the whip…mmmmm Nathan with a whip and fedora… man I wish I hadn’t thought about that.

You were my first real love Harrison. You’ll always have a special place in my heart, but the time has come for me to move on. I wish you well with your skeleton, um, Calista.