Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Lets get counting

It census time here in the US and as every media outlet keeps reminding us, those forms were mailed out last week, we should have completed them & mailed them back by now.

Except…

The first question on the form wants to know how many people are living or staying in your house on April 1, 2010.

How can I know that? It’s still March.

I live in the country. I get almost no cell signal. I get semi decent internet signal.

I get absolutely no crystal ball signal.

I don’t know how many people will be living in my house on April 1.

Sure, I can assume 4, since 4 are currently living here but in 2 weeks time things can change.

My husband’s 20 something nephew could show up to live on our sofa for months.

So could a number of single friends who have lost jobs & want to look for work in the area.

We could have a foster child placed with us.

My parents could come for an extended visit.

We could ship Mayhem off to military boarding school.

I just can’t know now for sure & since they want an accurate count they will have to wait until midnight April 2.

Then there is the second question:

“Were there any additional people staying here on April 1, 2010 that you did not include in Question 1?” (bold underlining by the US Government)

So basically they are asking “Did you just lie to us?” and expecting you to answer honestly this time.

But no where to they ask how many additional people you did not include.

Plus we have some interfamily squabbling over who gets to be Person 1. I think it should be me because I’m filling out the form. DH thinks it should be him because he’s first name on the mortgage & tax forms. Havoc thinks it should be him because he’s first born & Mayhem thinks it should be him because he never gets to be first for anything else.

So I’ll do a head count at 11:30pm April 1 and then draw those people’s names out of a hat to see who gets to be Person 1.

***Disclaimer – this is an attempt at humor. Please don’t comment explaining to me how to count the people in my household.

10 comments:

Cheri said...

You are ahead of me - I haven't opened the envelope yet.

Kim W said...

So, I was reading the directions and filling it out. But wait, my daughter is pregnant and due any day. So do I send it in early? or wait until April 1 to see if she pops? But then I might forget it! All the stress of a new baby! lol. I have completed everything but how many people. If the baby is born on April 2 or later --> poor thing won't be counted. For those of you not in the states --> the media spots are incredible for this census. They have some very stupid commercials!!!

Cindy said...

Wise disclaimer. ; )

Christa said...

I used to work for the Census Bureau. When the forms showed up my husband immediately ripped open the envelope and filled himself in as Person #1, just to rub it in my face. Then chased me around the house reading the questions aloud in an attempt to make me remember how much it sucked to work for them. He has a twisted sense of humor. Love him.

humel said...

Dang, I'm clearly missing out in the UK. Here we just have HORRIBLE TAX RETURN FORMS that when you fill them in correctly and honestly they discover that through no fault of your own (in fact, it was probably their fault) you owe them over £200 and it's due in 2 weeks or you have to pay interest and a late fee and no there's no possible way to appeal this but you can spread the payments but only if you pay interest....

Sorry. Sore point. Ahem.

I have to say, your form situation does sound ridiculous - how about you all enrol at military school and fill in a zero return?

cate said...

in Australia, the paperwork is actually dropped off and picked up by a person who is employed by the government to do just that, no sending it in early... and because I fill the paperwork out, I get to go first!

SciFi Dad said...

Do imaginary friends count?

What about REALLY large stuffed animals?

I say if they can't be more clear, you should just submit it with "I dunno" in every line.

Creative Junkie said...

I had the same though about question 2! I thought the census would be a bit more involved. Took me all of 2 minutes to complete it.

LizzieMade said...

Sure, you know How to Count them... But can you get them to sit still long enough to count?
LOL Census form questions... we get "Electoral Roll" forms from time to time, which always want you to answer for the number of (and names of) people living in your house on a particular date. Yet you have the option to send it back before that date... like you say, things can change. Loopy!

TooManyHats said...

LOL - I had those very same thoughts when I saw the form. Then on top of that I got a post card a few days ago reminding me to send it in right away. Crazy!