Friday, April 22, 2011

Friday Flashback

Sometimes on Fridays I repost really old post of mine. Posts from back years ago before I had readers. This one is from 2005 but apart from the age reference, is still entirely applicable today.

Woman nearly suffocates herself trying on Ren bodice!
TINY TOWN - A 38 year old woman, who refused to give her name out of embarrassment, nearly suffocated herself while trying on her Ren bodice at naptime today.

She says she has not worn the bodice in 5 years, preferring her looser fitting Irish style dress & chemise. But a desire for a new outfit led her to try on the bodice out of curiosity. She admits she should have just stopped when she looked at the size tag.

"It was a medium" she said ruefully. "I haven't been a 'medium' in a long time. But it is a 3 part bodice so I thought it might have some wiggle room"

A 3 part bodice for those who don't know is a bodice made of 3 parts - one piece goes across the front chest & stomach & then 2 parts go across the back. It laces together on the side & up the back.

"I think I need a longer lace for the back." she commented, holding the bodice up, "Even knotted at the end, the lace only allows maybe a half inch gap."

Apparently she loosened all the laces as far as they could go & still be in the grommets & then with great acrobatic arm maneuvers & a lot of wiggling she forced the bodice over her bust & down into place.

"I did wonder, as I was pulling it on, how I was going to get it off" she admitted sheepishly.

Once the bodice was in place & the laces tightened it did fit rather well. The gaps were about 2 inches on each side, which she claims is not too big, though it is coming close to being too big.

The problem came when she tried to take it off.

She loosened the side lacing as much as possible & then began pulling it over her head. The top slid up easily but the lower portion got caught on her breasts, leaving her with her face covered by the upper part of the bodice & her arms stuck up in the air.

"I was worried. There wasn't much air & I couldn't get the bodice to move up or down" she said. "I wiggled a lot & strained against the laces with my arms. It's knotted the ends of laces so they wouldn't slip through the top grommets. I tried to work out just how I might find a phone & then dial 911 when I couldn’t see anything but since my arms were over my head I never did figure it out.”

She was also stymied by what she was going to say to 911 when they answered.  ‘I’m stuck in a bodice & suffocating to death’ seemed a tad over dramatic. But not as much as “Bring the jaws of life! I can’t get out of this!” which was her other idea

Eventually she was able to force one side's laces to pop through its grommets & that loosed it enough she was able to slowly, painfully, wriggle her way out of the constricting garment.

She appears undaunted by her brush with death however & is not going to let the 15+ pounds she has put on since she last wore the bodice stop her from wearing it again.

"I just need another person with me when I put it on & take it off. I can totally unlace one side, slip it on easily & then someone can lace me up." she added "and I may lose some of the weight in the next 5 weeks too."


Cheri Andrews said...

I love reading your posts because I so enjoy your sense of humor. But bodice??? never!!!

Lizziemade said...

Oh dear... my sides ache... and not because I also got stuck. It is okay to laugh, yes? A lot? Like, a LOT?

I had a lovely sleeveless top, with embroidery at the front. It was so pretty. I forced myself into it, after putting on "a little weight".... It did not have side laces. Luckily, I lived to tell the tale (but I haven't tried it on again...)

Good luck with the next time! (no, of course that's not me still sniggering... wouldn't dream of it... hee-hee-hee....)

Thank you for the laugh, Stacey! I love your sense of humour!

Joanne said...

As someone who has just sorted her summer wardrobe and found exactly the same issues I feel for you. It is that moment of absolute panic and then the contortionist act where you pull your shoulders out of joint. Yep been there today. Mind you - I'm with Cheri - not in a bodice :0)

Jimjams said...

LOL - great re-post! Today my Mum was clearing out clothes she will never wear again as they are way too small - and I gratefully accepted some of them - OMG - not sure which is worse? The fact that I'm prepared to wear the styles that she wore 2-3 years ago or the fact that I'm catching up to her size! The diet re-starts tomorrow - I mean today !!!!!

Jess Mutty said...

Bwahaha! I can relate! Talk to me about my leather lace-up corset (Ren stuff as well!) which has absolutely ZERO give to the fabric. Can. Not. Breath!

Ginger said...

LOL! I love this story! I can't say that I have ever owned one of those :) P.S.Thanks for your comment.

Mama Wants This said...

Oh my, that was hilarious! Thanks for the repost, now I'm hooked! Will be back for more.

Stopping by from the LBS tea party.

p/s* Where is the bodice now? :-)

Comfy Mom said...

I bought a new, lace up front style bodice a couple years ago. No more bodices with unreachable laces for me

Comfy Mom said...

The bodice is in the costume storage box,waiting for either my weight loss or one of my friend's daughters to be big enough to fit in it. I bought a front lacing one a couple years ago, much much easier to get in & out of

SciFi Dad said...

I don't know what a bodice is, even after the description. It sounds like a sneaker that you put on your boobs, which can't be right.