let alone alive?
I don't wipe every surface in my house down with Clorox. I've never, not once, sanitized their toys. We've had other children over to play and I've never even sprayed Lysol around the play area when they left. There isn't a single bottle of Purell in the house. Why hasn't CPS arrived yet?
The only thing, and I mean seriously, the ONLY THING, being marketed to me on TV currently is cleaning supplies. No one is trying to sell me a mini van, (going by the soundtracks they are aiming toward moms 10 years younger than me) or investment advice (geared toward women with kids about to go to college), or even a burger. Possibly they are trying to sell me Nutrisystem but that commercial featuring the woman who went from a size 8 to a size 2 just pisses me off (I've forced my body into unhealthy weight loss and so can you!), so it doesn't count.
Which leaves Clorox, and Lysol and the billions upon billions of germs that I am wantonly and neglectfully exposing my children to everyday through my thoughtlessly lax cleaning habits. And Taco Bell who just now ran an ad with "I Melt for You" playing. I may just have to go buy something from Taco Bell in appreciation of their not attempting to frighten me with scare tactics. And I don't even really like Taco Bell