Saturday, October 16, 2010

That does explain a lot

So it seems walking into the living room is exerting myself. Not from walking but from being unable to ignore the legos and dinos and empty bowls and blankets and crumbs and toy cars and oh yeah balled up socks. I have to tidy them! Cannot ignore mess! So I am staying out of the living room this weekend, which means no internet. My SITS tribe sister, Jia has stepped in for me to keep you entertained in my absence. Check out her blog, her sister just had a baby!


Matt and I were playing Scene It last night, the video game about movie trivia. Normally, Matt kills me during this game, but somehow, I completely lucked out last night.

Question: Kate Winslet starred in Sense & Sensibility, true or false?
Matt: False.
Me: True. (Correct)

Question: Who was the lead actress in the Pride & Prejudice 2005 remake?
Matt: What?
Me: Keira Knightley (Correct)

Question: Who had Tom Cruise at Hello?
Matt: I don't get it.
Me: Renee Zellweger (Correct)

Question: In Pride and Prejudice, how many daughters are in the Bennet family?
Matt: How are we supposed to know that?!
Me: Five (Correct)

Matt: Alright, I know for a fact that you've never read that book!
Me: Saw the movie once, like fifteen years ago or something. I think.
Matt: Then how do you know the answer?
Me: It's Jane Austen.
Matt: And?
Me: And I have a vagina.
Matt: What's that got anything to do with it?
Me: It's basically pre-programmed information. My vagina came with Jane Austen 2.0 and Meg Ryan Movies version 3.5

I've also successfully downloaded Hugh Grant 1.6, Molly Ringwald Widget and the latest Twilight 4.5 (Team Edward update).

While the vagina is programmed with many helpful features, it's competitor hardware the penis does have several functions that just aren't backwards compatible for the vagina. The penis, like many hardware systems perform their tasks VERY well, but it does not have the ability to download new software.

Case in point:
Matt: Honey, will you go make me a sammich?
Me: Why can't you do it?
Matt: Cause I have a penis.

Me: Hey babe, will you load the dishwasher?
Matt: I can't.
Me: Why not?
Matt: Cause I have a penis.

The penis is apparently also incapable of downloading programs such as laundry 2.6, salad eating 4.0, and any chick flick torrents unless prompted with rewards. I think it's made by Apple.


Jean Has Been Shopping said...

LOL! Love it! I know both of you have been sick, but excellent job on your guest posts! You rock!

Rinda1961 said...

Too friction' funny!!!

Helena said...

This made me snort.