Havoc and Mayhem

Today's DSP blog challenge is to write about something you don't like doing but do anyway. I am actually working on a layout about this for the current Scrap Therapy challenge on Scrapmommies.com. It is to scrap something you are afraid of.

I don't like going to the dentist because I am afraid of it. Actually that sentance does not begin to convey just how I feel about the dentist. Terror & hysteria come closer. I had some really bad dental experiences about a decade ago that pushed a mild, slightly higher than average dislike of the dentist into outright fear. I have a hard time walking into the dentists' office. It's all I can do not to start crying with fear just sitting in the waiting room, let alone keeping it together while someone is poking around my mouth. I *know* they are going to hurt me. They may not do it intentionally, they even try to avoid it, but they always end up hurting me. Even cleaning my teeth, soemthing pokes too hard or scrapes a little funny & suddenly there is an abrupt, stabbing pain. It's worse with fillings & root canals because the lidocaine wears off on me so quickly & the only way to really tell is when they hit a nerve. This especially sucks with root canals. I've actually been avoiding the dentist for about 3 years now, except when too much pain forces me into it. But DH finally convinced me to get my teeth cleaned. I sort of expected needing about 4 fillings. What I need is one root canal. This will be my 4th. 2 were done when I was seeing the dentist regularly, so I don't really blame my lack of visits. I wish they could knock me out for it. Some dentists do, but none around here. My appointment is the 21st. I have been have flashbacks to previous root canal pain moments since I found out on the 30th. Like I am suffering from dental PTSD. I don't want to go. The tooth doesn't hurt. If they hadn't taken an routine xray they would never even know about it. You'd think at 38 I'd be able to cope with something like this better than digging my heels in and crying "I don't want to go." as if someone somewhere will give me a reprieve. That's one of the things that sucks about being an adult, there is no one to make it all better or to help make the scary thing easier. You aren't suppose to be scared. You are supposed to be able to cope & you re being 'needlessly dramatic' and drawing attention to yourself if you can't.

So i am going to the dentist, even though I hate it & they are going to hurt me. And the icing on this cake is that I get to pay $750 for the experience.