Saturday, November 15, 2008

Separation Anxiety Strikes Again

We have all the bunk bed parts. Last night we went over how we were going to assemble it today. The boys talked about the merits of Batman sheets versus Spiderman sheets while I shook out the various fleece blankets they have to see what would fit a twin bed and what was too small. I'm going to have a large lot of toddler fitted sheets to offer on eBay. I mentioned this to DH and Mayhem suddenly became concerned. "You give away my truck sheets?" I explained the sheets won't fit on the new mattresses so we won't need them any longer.

Mayhem threw himself on his bed (with truck sheets) and sobbed "BUT I WUV MY TRUCK SHEETS!!!"

Oh dear.

Deciding to go with the 'ripping the bandaid off quickly' approach, I told him that when the bunk bed were set up, we would be removing his toddler bed and wouldn't need it or the sheets so we will be giving them away and I tried to remind him of how excited he was about the bunk beds and Batman sheets.

He wasn't having it. He is now distraught at the idea of giving away his bed, let alone his sheets.  But let me be clear - he wants the bunk beds and Batman sheets, he just doesn't want to get rid of the toddler bed & sheets.  He thinks I should just keep them in the spare bedroom, leaning against a wall, so he can look at them. He doesn't want them to go away forever and cries at the very thought.

This is new. Two months ago we went through their toys, sorting out what to keep, what to donate and what to toss and he was right in there, sorting with the best of them. There were some things that were his 'favorite' that he didn't want to go away forever, but the vast majority of toys he was able to view objectively - I have outgrown that, I don't play with that, that is broken, I want to keep that.  He's never been the sort of child that had to carry a lovey around. Unlike his brother, who has a blankie and a bear, Mayhem never developed a particular attachment to any one item. He is randomly affectionate to all the toys, taking dinos, race cars, dump trucks, stuffed animals and trains to bed with him at various times.

I'm trying to be sympathetic about it. I remember having attachments to inanimate objects when I was kid. So I can empathize with him. But at a certain point sympathy becomes enabling and I can never tell what his reaction to my sympathy is going to be. Sometimes it calms him down and sometimes I can tell he is forcing himself to be upset. I'm just hoping this phase passes quickly.

I've decided instead of eBay I am going to keep the patterned sheets and rework them into a couple of quilts for the boys (many of their sheets I made & some are store bought, there should be plenty of fabric). I'm going to call the family shelter in town & see if they need a toddler bed, a couple of mattresses and the solid sheets. Maybe if Mayhem sees where the bed is going he'll feel better about it.

=======================

I have received some awards recently.  I'll be talking about them & passing them on soon!

14 comments:

Jenni Jiggety said...

I think the quilt idea is a GREAT idea!

SavvySuzie said...

Kids' attatchments pop up when you least expect them :) As I was reading your post I was thinking of suggesting that you use the toddler bed sheets to make pillowcases for him, but the quilt is another great idea!

Jodith said...

I was just about to suggest cutting up the sheets and making a blankie for him, but you were ahead of me. The quilt idea is great! *laughs*

Susanna said...

That's a grand idea. I would never have thought of it, well done.

Heather (How to be a Woman..?) said...

I actually laughed out loud when I read "I tried to remind him how excited he was about the Batman sheets". Trying to make your babies happy can be touch and go sometimes. He'll end up loving his new bed, I just know it!

Doré said...

awww, poor guy. I love the quilt idea as well as giving the bed to a shelter. I hope Mayhem forgets all about his toddler bed when he gets to sleep in his big boy bed!

Tina (mummifiedx5) said...

I love the quilt idea :)

2TooManyHats said...

Super idea about the quilt. You are one smart mommy.

Connie said...

I never would have thought of the quilt idea. I think that's a great way to not only handle this incident but maybe even curb the other ones dealing with separation. Hope this phase passes soon.

Jess said...

WOW! Both my boys have loveies, they both have their blankies. Not much on toys just yet except for cars and maybe a few stuffed animals.

The quilt idea is nice.

Helene said...

I love the quilt idea!!!! I think he'll have an easier time letting go once he realizes you have a special project planned for his beloved sheets!

Kate said...

Oh, I know, we have the same problems around here. Our little monkey gets attached to absolutely everything he comes into contact with. He's even upset when he loses a scab on his knee, so trying new things is always really rough. I feel your pain.

Daisy said...

The quilt idea rocks! I envy people who sew. I love quilts, but am hopeless with a needle and thread. Now give me a patch of earth and some seeds -- that's a different story.

journey2learn said...

The quilt is a great idea...of was thinking that as I was reading...and the donating of the bed...another awesome idea. I hope Mayhem agrees.